Parenting isn’t easy. Add in the possibility of a learning disorder or other disability that interferes with your child's ability to keep up in the classroom, and it’s understandable that you’d feel extra stress. Whether you have your own suspicions or the teacher has raised a concern, determining whether your child needs special education services is the first step to take right now.
You know your child — probably better than anyone else does. But, does this make you the “right” person to know if your child needs special education services? In the eyes of your child’s school, the answer is most likely a resounding no (at least not by yourself). The multidisciplinary educational team, which includes you, a school psychologist, and other specialists (like a speech-language pathologist, occupational therapist, special instructor, etc.) will make this decision. There’s a sequential process that you need to take before the team determines if your child is eligible for services. Keep in mind, sometimes parents need to play an active role to help determine if their child is eligible for special education services. Special education lawyers and advocates may also be able to help families secure appropriate school placements and related services.
You and the school, together, should ultimately make the decision whether your child can, or can’t, receive special education services. And frequently, it's up to you to start the process by requesting evaluations. If you’re not sure what signs signal a problem, read on and learn about what to look for. While these aren’t the only possible clues, they are common reasons why parents may start suspecting a learning (or other) disability.
Academic Issues
Maintaining grades, progressing socially along with like-aged peers and demonstrating an understanding of the material at hand are all academic expectations placed on children. That said, when you don’t see one, a few or all of these, you may start to wonder if there’s a problem. One problem now and then or a single issue isn’t always cause for concern.
However, when you start seeing a pattern of struggling, your child’s grades don’t recover from a major drop or the school suggests retaining your child in their present grade, it’s time to begin questioning. It’s important to understand that not all poor academic performance or classroom struggling has to do with a learning disability. There are other possibilities. And that’s what makes a thorough professional evaluation and assessment absolutely essential.
From behavioral issues that are getting in the way of academics to difficulty hearing what the teacher is saying, the evaluation team will take the time to investigate all the possibilities — and won’t just label your child without getting to know them or their situation.
Feeling Anxious
Your child is sort of struggling in school. But you haven’t noticed a major dip in his grades. He has expressed concern, and you’re not sure if it’s normal school stress. Most children have some level of anxiety when it comes to school. Whether it’s a social-based fear or they’re worried about a test, it’s normal for a child to feel stress from time to time.
When school stress becomes marked or your child is trying to avoid going to school, they may have a problem. A child who is struggling just to keep up will understandably feel stress or anxiety when it comes to school. If your child is having sudden unexplained stomach aches every school morning or has some other excuse for staying home frequently, you’re seeing a red flag. This doesn’t mean that your child definitely has a problem. But it may mean that further inquiry is needed.
Obviously, talking to your child is the first step. But some children may not want to talk to their parents or may feel embarrassed about the situation at hand. If your child won’t open up, a professional such as the school counselor or independent therapist may have better luck. Getting your child talking can help you to better understand why your child is anxious and if it has anything to do with academics and learning.
Low Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is a major factor in how a child sees themselves as a student. Children who have undiagnosed learning disabilities or other issues that are preventing them from succeeding in school often suffer from low self-esteem. The child may feel out of control, have poor self-worth or even think that the learning disability is their fault.
Building high self-esteem takes success. Not all the time, but sometimes. Children who have learning disabilities can succeed, and often do. This can happen before they get help or start overcoming their issues. But when a child doesn’t have consistent successes or has more failures than not, it can take a toll.
Along with academic-related esteem issues, some children with learning disabilities may experience socially-focused problems. Even though a child’s confidence should come from within, the external force of the peer group often plays a major role. A child who is at the bottom of the class grade-wise or often makes mistakes in the educational setting may become a target.
Being made fun of hurts. And can shatter a child’s self-esteem. Add on the fact that the child doesn’t understand why they can’t succeed, and you have a recipe for low confidence.
What happens if these signs and scenarios sound familiar? Before jumping to any conclusions, take a moment to understand what you feel is happening with your child. Talk to your child’s teacher, asking if they also see some of the same things that you do. If the two of you are in agreement, find out what the school’s typical evaluation process is. Above all, reassure your child that you are there for them and will do whatever it takes to help.
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